November 26, 2006 Ko Chang – Pattaya, Thailand

November 26, 2006
Ko Chang – Pattaya, Thailand

I woke up this morning to the door of our bungalow opening. Spizz was returning from a morning run (8:30). He took a shower and then started to pack up his stuff. I decided to stay in bed until he was finished because there was not room enough in the bungalow for both of us to move around.

A few minutes later (about 8:45) we heard a voice calling us outside and telling us that our cab had arrived. We were shocked because it was not supposed to come until 10:30! I hurriedly gathered all of my things and tossed them in my bag. It was the worst (and fastest) packing job I have ever done. Just as I finished packing Spizz came back in and said that the driver had left and would return at 10:00…

We ordered some breakfast and hung out. When we were done I decided to return to our hut and take a quick shower. Just as I finished the driver returned. We loaded up our stuff and jumped in.

The driver was crazy. He drove super fast, tailgated, and passed people as often as possible. He only slowed down when he was stopping at hotels to pick up other passengers. Eventually, our minibus was totally full and we were packed in tight.

Unfortunately, we arrived at the docks just as a ferry was pulling away. We got out of the bus and spent the next 45 minutes cruising some of the shops near the water. I was shocked to find that it costs only 150 baht (less that $5) to rent a motorbike for the day (way cheaper than cabs!).

Just after 11:00 we got on the ferry. I spent most of the 40-minute ferry ride reading Sports Illustrated (thanks Kev!). When we arrived back on the mainland we packed back into our bus and set out for Pattaya.

The drive took an incredibly long time (about 5 hours)! In fact, it took longer for our speeding minibus to reach Pattaya than it took a large bus to go from Bangkok to Ko Chang. To make matters worse, the air-conditioning was less than stellar and the legroom was adequate only for people of Spizzle’s height.

We were quite relieved when we reached our hotel. The accommodations were surprisingly nice (for $7 per night). The Jomtien Cozy Inn is relatively new and clean. It seemed as though we were the only people staying there and the staff were eager to help. Once we settled into our room my first order of business was to get some laundry done (I had no clean cloths). NOTE: as we unpacked Spizz realized that he didn’t have his camera. We looked through everything and could not find it. He must have left it at the bungalows…

Next, we headed down to the internet. Incredibly, the hotel is equipped with wireless internet (free of charge!). After catching up on world news we both decided to take a shower and prepare for the evening.

Just after 19:00 we left our hotel (on the outskirts of town) and head to the city center. We hailed a pickup truck taxi and asked how much the ride was. We were surprised that it would cost 50 baht each. Nonetheless, we got in the back. Once inside a Danish man (50ish) by the name of Staffa told us that you never ask the cab drivers the price. It is much cheaper to just get in and then give them 20 baht when you get off. It was great information to know and I offered to buy Staffa his first beer. He said he knew just the place.

We got off the truck in the center of Pattaya. Our first stop was a place called The Wonderful Bar. We found a spot with three stools and ordered some beers. Staffa informed us that he had an apartment in town and that he had been coming here for the last 20 years. We listened to many of his stories and learned a lot about the city. Apparently, Pattaya has more prostitutes than any other city in the world. Almost all of the girls working in the bars are hookers.

After our second round of beers Staffa said that he was tired of the bar and that we should go somewhere else for a while. Thankful to have a guide, we followed him through the crowded streets. Eventually we ducked into a dimly lit bar. Staffa had taken us to a go-go bar. Spizz and I (or maybe just I) were not really in the mood for such things. After chugging down a beer we left.

Feeling a little bit tipsy we decided that we needed to get some food. As if from heaven, a Pizza Hut appeared! We sat down and enjoyed some greasy American food.

Once we had our fill we returned to the streets and started wandering around. We stumbled into a large outdoor bar area with a kickboxing ring at the center. I was excited to find that they had Connect-4 sets!! We sat down at the bar, ordered some beers and started playing. I made quick work of Spizzle. Eventually, one of the bartenders came and challenged me. Not surprisingly, she was much better than Spizz. Still, I won 7 games and she won 2 (once because Spank was distracting me...:). At the same time, Spizz was playing a bartender and getting his butt kicked.

From the bar we continued walking around. We eventually made it to what has to be the main street in town, Walking Street. The entire street was light with neon signs and lights. Bars, strip clubs, and other places of debauchery filled every inch of the street. Everywhere I looked I saw old white guys embracing young, beautiful Thai women. It was one of the craziest streets I have ever walked down.

By the time we got to the end of the street (about a mile) we were mentally and physically exhausted. We found a cab and headed for our hotel. We got back to our room just before midnight and quickly fell asleep.

The Spizzle Commentary:

So I’ve been in some crazy cities and have seen some crazy things, But last night was a first for me. I sat down at a bar and within 30 seconds I got offered, well lets just say it was something sexual. There were so many beautiful girls going home with old, scary men. I played connect for with a hooker for about half an hour, I although she didn’t take me home, she sure kicked my butt at that silly game. They say there’s about 80,000 people that live in this city, I would guess a third of them are prostitutes. Basically This is Kevin’s dream land because of the cheap beer of course! Well that’s all I have for now…till next time…Ching Chong Chuey